Control

My institute teacher sparked introspection...comparing Lehi's family. What kind of family member am I? I wonder. I have been lead to believe that I am a good addition to the Max Dahl family. How would the family run without me? Differently.

From there he spoke more and I thought more. He mentioned the thought that we "never rise above the stature we carve out for ourselves while on our missions" or "today while you are at school". I haven't been in high spirits. I suspect that it is weather induced.

I wonder 'what did I do?' on my mission...what did I do before, what have I done since? Instinctively "nothing" comes to mind. I have been told that I am too harsh of a judge and jury when I inspect myself. Regardless, the verdict is still "guilty" whenever deliberation is complete. I haven't ever found a way to control completely, and I suppose that is what I really want.

I am unable to control others decisions, I am unable to control the consequences from my, or other people's decisions. Ultimately, I will never have control; it is impossible. God does not have complete control. We govern ourselves, if not so God ceases to be God. He can control many things, but He will not force me to do ANYTHING...

I cannot control what other people have, or like, or wear. My influence in verity revolves around me.

What have I done? For good or bad, for others or myself? What COULD I do...for anyone, other than to yield control?

Isn't that the plan? Is that not where happiness is rooted?

Message for the day: "Lighten Up"